When I am here, full of tears, lonely, lost and afraid
And my mind is pulled tight as a rope that is frayed
I try extremely hard to breathe in and out and remember
What joyful happiness felt like before that sad September
And the third of October, in the year of our Lord, 2001
When to pancreatic cancer, my beloved husband did succumb
I loved watching smoke ascend and spiral out of a cheerful chimney
On a snowy Sunday with all my family snugly home with me.
I loved riding bikes all together over and across, up and down
All the way to Mc Donald’s for breakfast and then, back around.
I loved eating outside with nightly after dinner cold water fights
And sitting on the front porch until the mosquitos began to bite.
I loved planting perennial flowers and pulling dandelion weeds
And spreading grass fertilizer and sowing vegetable seeds.
I loved talking while walking around in our yard every evening
And holding hands as we waved goodbye to loved ones leaving.
Anything and everything that I especially loved to do the most
Including going to Mass and receiving the most Blessed Host
Included him being by my side, next to me, near me, with me.
I still miss my best, beloved husband so very terribly
Without his heart and hand, my sorrowful soul is so homesick
I long for our time to once again be together to come quick!