The Sorcerer's Stone: Chapter 3

Harry Potter and the Request for Help

The Sorcerer's Stone

THE LETTERS FROM NO ONE

By Luke Schierer

 

The escape … longest-ever punishment. By … allowed out … summer holidays had started … knocked down … crutches.

Someone will ask how long that was. Dudley's birthday is June 23, so at least a week.

Harry … no escaping Dudley’s gang, … leader. The … Harry Hunting.

This paragraph would get interrupted. First a reaction on the stupidest being the leader. I agree with a lot of authors that someone would remark on that.

Harry Hunting will cause either a wave of silence, or a wave of outrage, depending on how obvious it is what it is. I am unsure which.

This … out of the house, … hope. When September … Dudley. Dudley … Smeltings … Harry, … Stonewall High, … funny.

How much does Harry get out of the House? Someone will perhaps feel relieved that Harry has free time. This will reassure Dumbledore that things aren't all that bad.

Someone will initially think this paragraph means that Harry does know about Hogwarts. Someone from Slytherin perhaps will speak out?

Will anyone know enough Muggle to know what Smelting is to react to that name?

“They … practice?”

“No," … said.

The Weasley twins will love Harry's humour.

One … Mrs. Figg … television … chocolate cake … years.

The part about the cake tasting years old probably deserves comment, but I'm not quite sure who.

That … uniform … maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers … boaters. They … knobbly sticks, … life.

Pavarti and Lavender will comment on the uniforms. Mrs. Weasley on the sticks. This might be a good point to decide on what to do with Flitwick though, to set the stage for later books.

As … handsome and grown-up. Harry … laugh.

The uniforms are utterly ridiculous, but if you step back, the reactions are fairly natural on all 3 sides, assuming the uniforms have not changed all that much since at least a generation before Vernon attended. It doesn't matter how hideous they are if the hideousness is traditional. That being said, an eleven year old will not see that.

The students will react to Petunia's use of a nickname, or will they be inured to it by now?

There … horrible smell … gray water.

I am curious that it looked like rags. Did the clothing already have holes in it? Was it already frayed?

“What’s this?” he asked … question.

“Your … uniform,” she said.

Harry … again.

“Oh, … wet.”

Again Harry's humour will impress the twins. However in this case, Mrs. Weasley will be upset with them about it, it is not funny to her.

“Don’t … finished.”

Harry … probably.

It might strike Ron that Harry knows something about wearing second hand clothing.

Dudley … table.

Dudley's behaviour continues to earn comments.

They … doormat.

“Get … Dudley,” said … paper.

Shock. Dudley has to do something?

“Make … it.”

“Get … Harry.”

All is right in the world.

“Make … it.”

“Poke … Dudley.”

That Harry is willing to speak up here speaks to a low abuse situation, Snape will recall that he would not dare defy his father. That Vernon encourages Dudley to use the stick on Harry will appal Mrs. Weasley and Hermione.

Harry dodged … a letter for Harry.

Someone will ask why that is noteworthy. Surely Harry gets loads of mail.

Harry … mistake:

Different students will speak up about having written. Someone might ask about Gringotts bank statements, Bill Weasley?

\

McGonnagall will say something about the letter being automatic, that no one sees it.

The … stamp.

A pureblood needs to ask what a stamp is.

Turning … a lion, an eagle, a badger, and … letter H.

Most authors have the students excited about their house mascots at this point. I think the mood will be too upset for that.

“Hurry … bombs?” He … joke.

Someone will perhaps ask what a bomb is?

Harry … staring at his letter … envelope.

Someone will be unable to resist pointing out that Harry should have hidden the letter for latter.

Uncle … postcard.

“Marge’s … whelk …”

“Dad!” said Dudley suddenly. “Dad, … something!”

Harry … Vernon.

Outrage. Hogwarts letters are an important milestone, to take one is not done.

“That’s mine!” said … back.

Harry is showing remarkable spine for a boy with the background that is otherwise so strongly hinted at. Dumbledore and Snape will not comment on it aloud, but will note that.

“Who’d … you?” sneered … porridge.

“P-P-Petunia!” he gasped.

The thing is, I tend to agree with the vast amount of other writers out there. Harry probably ought to have been consistently receiving mail from all sorts of people all along, some of whom are no doubt his fellow students. Some of them will probably say something if they have not already.

Madam Bones will hear that Harry's mail has been intercepted. That will be something to investigate. I need to decide if it was done by Dumbledore illegally, by Dumbledore with the Ministry's co-operation, or by the Ministry at Dumbledore's subtle background urging.

Umbridge will say something to the effect of "Who cares about the brat's mail." If the first is true, Fudge will speak up to support Madam Bones, because it makes Dumbledore look bad. If the second or third, he will speak up to support Umbridge.

Dudley … noise.

“Vernon! … Vernon!”

They … He gave … sharp tap … Smelting stick.

any number of students will be shocked that Dudley would do this.

“I … letter,” … loudly.

“I … mine.”

“Get … you,” croaked … envelope.

Harry didn’t move.

“I … LETTER!” he shouted.

“Let … it!” demanded Dudley.

“OUT!” roared …threw … them. Harry … fight … keyhole; … floor.

Molly will not like hearing this. Some Slytherin might make a snide comment about losing a fight to a muggle.

“Vernon, … house?”

Someone, Madam Bones?, will reassure Harry that if they had been watching, there would have been an intervention.

“Watching … us,” muttered … wildly.

“But … want —”

Harry … kitchen.

“No, … answer. . . . Yes, that’s best . . . we … anything. . . .”

McGonagall will comment to the effect that this will not work.

“But —”

“I’m … stamp … nonsense?”

Someone, perhaps more than one? will have visions of obscurials. How common is knowledge of how dangerous Vernon's proposal actually is? Madam Pomfrey certainly knows.

That … cupboard.

He fit‽ That reaction may not be strictly speaking realistic, but a bunch of 11-15 year olds will certainly have it.

“Where’s … me?”

“No … mistake,” said … shortly. “I … burned it.”

I agree with any number of other writers. This will horrify the Hogwarts population. The Hogwarts letter is a rite of passage in their world.

“It … it.”

“SILENCE!” yelled … forced … smile, … painful.

There is a tension here. Normally this might be evidence that Harry is not all that badly treated. Certainly the fact that he shows his anger is. However, given that Vernon is currently feeling rather paranoid about being spied on, his behaviour is repressed compared to what he would normally do.

“Er … Dudley’s second bedroom.”

The fact that Dudley has 2 bedrooms, I need to double check if I have commented on that already.

“Why?” said Harry.

“Don’t … now.”

Even feeling an unusual need to be decent, Uncle Vernon will not allow actual questions.

The … four bedrooms: … the bed … broken. … touched.

Only the muggleborn students will really understand this paragraph. The wizarding raised will not understand the expense of these items, nor the danger of an air rifle. Justin Finch-Fletchley should react here though, cite the work where he did. That we talk to the four bedrooms suggests that this is the first time we talk to Dudley's second bedroom. That he has two will draw reactions. Even the worst of the Purebloods only have one room.

From … mother, “I … out. . . .”

Harry … it.

Next … back. Harry … hall. Uncle … darkly.

Someone will poke Harry that he really should have known better.

When … shouted, “There’s … Drive —’”

With … Harry … neck from behind. … hand.

This will amuse Ron and Hermione to no end. Prefiguring the Troll.

“Go … go.”

Harry … Someone knew … He … plan.

Ron and Hermione tease him about plans. Harry protests. How are the letters handled, does someone know?

The repaired alarm … lights.

He … first. His … door —

What do people think of this plan? Someone will comment.

“AAAAARRRGH!”

Harry … trodden … alive!

Mass hilarity.

Lights … do. He … three letters … ink.

Harry is predictable. Plus his plans never work. Why three letters?

“I want —” he … eyes.

Uncle … slot.

Someone will probably comment that it is odd that the letters are arriving in the mail slot at all at this point. The wizarding raised are used to owl mail, they may have over looked a mail slot so far, but this will rub their face in it.

“See, … up.”

“I’m … Vernon.”

Someone will comment that Petunia's view is more realistic.

“Oh, … me,” said … him.

Our minds are odd? Thank goodness we aren't like you.

Why did Petunia bring him fruit cake while he was busy? What kind of nutter gets confused that way (to use his cake as a hammer)?

On Friday, … bathroom.

Prior to this, it might possibly be an automated process gone awry. At this point however, someone should be asking who is in charge of overseeing the letters, and why they have not simply sent a professor. Is Dumbledore directly doing this, or is McGonagall? If McGonagall, why? This is borderline muggle-baiting - a crime. The only thing that makes it questionable is the fact that the muggles in question are interfering with Hogwarts acceptance letters, which probably counts as Official Correspondence™, and thus the Dursleys are themselves probably violating the law. Lets assume that in a properly run Hogwarts, the Headmaster is in charge of the overall school and thus the curriculum and the teachers, while the Deputy would be in charge of the students. That would be, as I understand it, a fairly typical division of duties, though the Headmaster would I suppose be a "court of final appeal," such an appeal would be rarely granted as it would undermine the Headmaster's Deputy. That being said, I do not actually know of an example in literature of a British school that has a Deputy Head, so this is highly speculative.

The reading paused as the Sorting Hat interrupted. "Minerva McGonagall, you stand accused of muggle-baiting, and of failing in your duty to see to the timely delivery of Hogwarts acceptance letters. How plead you?"

Dumbledore interrupted "Minerva has my fully confidence. Surely a few harmless letters hardly rise to a charge of muggle-baiting. And Harry received his letter in plenty of time to do his shopping, no harm came from a trivial delay in getting his letter."

The Hat turned towards Madam Bones, asking "Madam Bones, as head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, what is your opinion? We have here a witch who is harassing defenceless muggles with the gratuitous use of magic."

Madam Bones pondered a moment, then "As the Dursleys are not ordinary muggles, but rather informed and allowed muggles under the Statue, and as they are interfering with Mr. Potter's ability to get a magical education, which is required under that Statue, we have something of a gray area here. The Dursleys are arguably criminals and thus arguably outside the protections of the laws against muggle-baiting. I know of no precedent that would definitively guide a court in this matter."

"In light of Madam Bones' statement, we will allow the following, a plea of 'Guilty,' 'Not Guilty,' or 'Not Culpable.' Understand that should you plead 'Not Culpable' you are admitting that you did in fact engage in muggle-baiting, and the burden of proof will be on you to prove that you are exempt from prosecution due to the Dursleys' guilt."

Minerva McGonagall looked as if she had swallowed a lemon. "I was told that Harry knew about his heritage, and that a visit from someone magical would upset the Dursleys. I should not be charged with a crime for listening to Dumbledore."

"Hogwarts recognises a plea of 'Not Guilty.' Be advised Madam that your defence is perilously close to what muggle courts would call the 'Nuremberg defence' and is not considered exculpatory. As I believe that not all evidence has been gathered in this matter, Hogwarts will defer judgement."

A wave of murmurs swept across the room. Some, particularly among the older Slytherin families, were upset that the Hat would reference a muggle precedent, but still too cowed by the threat of loosing their magic to openly disrespect the Hat's control over the proceedings. Others were upset that McGonagall had invoked Dumbledore's name in vain: surely if the Dumbledore said something McGonagall could hardly be expected to do otherwise. Hermione felt uneasy. "Harry, are you sure this is a good idea? Surely we should trust Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. After all, Professor Dumbledore is the Headmaster, he just wants what is best for you …"

Harry whispered back "It is out of my hands now Hermione, and anyway, why should they get special treatment? If they have not done anything wrong, they have nothing to fear. If they have, shouldn't they be held accountable for it?"

Hermione frowned. She could not dispute that, but surely anything that lead to Professor McGonagall being charged with a crime must be wrong. Surely a professor could not have done anything criminal.

Uncle Vernon … burning … boarded … no one could go out … hummed … jumped … noises.

The students heard the Hat mutter "instilling paranoia, triggering irrational behaviour …"

On Saturday, … out of hand. … confused milkman … processor.

The Hat erupted "A confused milkman? Is this evidence of a confundus charm on an uninformed, non-exempt muggle Professor McGonagall? Or was your work so shoddy that you put the Statue of Secrecy at risk by causing the milkman to deliver eggs that had clearly been tampered with?"

Professor McGonagall, clearly embarrassed at being called out nearly stammered as she replied "A confundus charm. There was naturally no risk to the International Statue of Secrecy. Such charms are considered harmless, and are routinely done …"

Madam Bones interjected "They are done to hide illegal magic that muggles come in contact with either due to negligence or malicious intent. Your use of this charm is essentially a confession of guilt to at least one violation of the Statute of Secrecy Minerva."

The Hat: "Let the record show that Professor Minerva McGonagall has confessed to breaking the International Statute of Secrecy. The court will suspend the penalty phase at this time pending further evidence on the remaining charges."

“Who … amazement.

 On … happy.

“No post on Sundays,” he … newspapers, “no damn letters today —”

As all of the purebloods and most of the halfbloods looked around confused, Hermione, despite being shocked that her favourite professor had just been found guilty of a major crime, could not help speaking out. "Muggles do not use owls for mail, they pay people to deliver their post. These people take Sundays off, so post is not expected on Sundays."

Something … catch one —

Angelina, Gryffindor Quidditch Captain had been channelling Oliver Wood all year. She could not help chuckling, seeing evidence of Harry the star Seeker in this description.

“Out! OUT!”

Uncle Vernon seized … threw … floor.

The Hat was heard muttering again "Use of magic to incite muggles to violence …"

“That … pulling great tufts … arguments!”

" … triggering self-harm … "

He looked … Dudley was sniffling … father had hit him … bag.

Several people started to comment but seemed to lose their nerve as the Hat muttered " … resulting in further child abuse … "

Draco started to forget the threat that they were all under, the prospect of one of his least favourite teachers getting the sack was exciting. He did not quite speak out, but his eyes were dancing and his face was flushed with excitement.

They drove. … while.

“Shake … this.

They … day. By … computer.

Molly Weasley and Madam Pomfrey was dismayed. No child should go a full day without meals, even if it was Dudley. Plus, that meant that Harry had also missed meals, and he was already too skinny.

Uncle Vernon … wondering. . . .

They ate … day. They … table.

“’Scuse me, … about an ’undred … front desk.”

Madam Bones spoke up again, "Really Minerva, I imagine you were trying to make a point that Dursley's actions were pointless, but sending that many letters to the front desk? That is something I might expect of Dedalus Diggle. Surely a single letter would have made your point at far less risk of drawing attention to both Mr. Potter and the fact that something muggles cannot explain was happening."

She … green ink address: … Harry … The woman stared.

“I’ll take them,” said … room.

 “Wouldn’t … garage.

“Daddy’s … disappeared.

It … sniveled.

“It’s … television.”

Monday. … Harry’s eleventh birthday. … were never exactly fun — … coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon’s old socks. … day.

Essentially the Dursleys are giving Harry rubbish gifts just to rub it in that he is not worth more.

Uncle … bought.

“Found … out!”

It … cold … there.

I find this curious, I picked a couple of coastal weather stations from the UK Met Office and as best I can tell, the temperature should not have been below 50℉ or so.1

“Storm … boat!”

A … them.

Someone should be horrified at this point. a small boat on the open water, in the storm, on a chilly evening.

“I’ve … aboard!”

It … house.

In my above comment, I had not really considered the additional effects of wind and water. I need to look up average ocean temps for the waters surrounding England.

The … rooms.

Uncle … a bag of chips each and four bananas. … up.

“Could …letters now, eh?” he said cheerfully.

Molly and Madam Pomfrey will not be happy with that description of a meal. Which will comment?

The comment about the letters might well provoke a response as well.

He … all.

As … moldy blankets … bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She … bed next door, and Harry … floor … thinnest, most ragged blanket.

Mouldy blankets are not hygienic. Hermione or Pomfrey?

The … now.

Five … somehow.

That thought about being warmer if the roof falls is kind of disturbing if you really think about it. Someone might pick up on that.

Three … sea?

One … one . . .

BOOM.

The … in.

The cliff hanger ending of the chapter will not be liked by the students.